Welcome to the Able And Game recap of the Masterchef Australia Wednesday Night Team Challenge, or as I like to call it, the Gordon Ramsay Shit Show.
Who will win and who will be given the title of idiot sandwich?
The contestants arrive at the Masterchef kitchen.
Gary, George and Matt are nowhere to be see, they have vanished. I will assume Gordon has now taken control of the shit show and he fired them all.
Gordon is in his chef whites screaming at them to move. Jess knows he is going to be working at the pass and she is freaking out. As they walk into the kitchen he divides them into two teams.
Sashi, Reece, Hoda, Brendan, Jenny, Lisa, Jess, Genene, Khanh
Kristen, Jo, Aldo, Samira, Chloe, Gina, Loki, Sarah, Ben
They are cooking a three-course dinner for 50 diners and both teams need to select a team captain for this shit show.
Blue team start to decide, and Aldo take a step back, then another step back and finally they choose Chloe.
Red team select Brendan, because he is social worker.
They have two hours prep before the diners enter and Gordon asks them to guess who is running the hot plate. He looks to the door and says ‘please welcome ……’
Nobody comes to the door, jokes on everyone because you’re f***ing staring at him, Gordon is running the hot plate. Tricky Gordon LOL!
Gordon tells them to get excited, he wants to see them at their best, he wants to see an incredible menu. The cook starts.
Chloe’s blue team start brain storming and a prawn tortellini is suggested for entrée and Gina is concerned that it’s a lot of work for an entrée. Gordon is hovering over them as they brainstorm, and Ben says it can be done, he knows how to make raviolo from Monday night's pressure test so it shouldn’t be that hard. I feel they should listen to Gina.
Brendan’s red team start brainstorming and they decide to go with an Asian inspired menu, they are playing to their strengths.
They are thinking pork and chive dumplings, crispy pork belly for the main and a miso toffee apple for dessert.
Blue team are having issues deciding on a main and are falling behind already.
Gordon calls the captains together and tells them he wants to taste a sample entrée in half an hour and a main in an hour.
Khanh and Sashi are rubbing a large chunk of pork belly and Gordon tells them it needs to get in the oven. Khanh has concerns that the belly won’t cook for long enough and at too high a temperature, so the fat won’t render down. Yet they are doing it anyway despite knowing it will fail.
Gordon is wanting his test entrée and the prawn mousse filling isn’t ready yet. Gordon starts screaming for it and Loki is like dude, whatever forever. Chill.
Chloe burns her arm, Loki pours fish stock into the bisque and it’s too salty and all the while Gordon is still screaming for the entrée. Loki attempts to fix it with lemon because it is too salty.
Chloe finally gets a dish up but is not happy with it. Gordon says the team is fragmented and he is considering shutting the place down.
Blue team comes together, Gina wants to make it works because she doesn’t want to be on a sinking shit show ship.
Ben is filleting the salmon which impresses Gordon, but Sarah says it took a while to decide on the main, so they are behind.
Aldo is doing dessert a panna cotta. Gordon is yelling at him to put them in the fridge, he says he needs them to set or else Gordon will be a level of angry much greater than his current level of angry.
Gordon has decided he should be allowed to pick a favourite team. Blue team are his favourite and he tells them he wants them to win.
Aldo’s panna cotta starts to overboil, but we’ve already seen him cooling it. There is either a second batch or the editing time line is loading all the high stress moments into one.
Gary and George arrive, Gordon has not fired them after all. They’ve had a sleep in, they’ve gone for a light brunch and now they are ready for a three-course lunch.
Gordon tells the judges he’s not having fun. Gary says he doesn’t look like he has time for a cup of tea and Gordon says no chance. Gary says they’ll have one for him. Gordon wants to fire Gary now, but for reals.
Gordon tells the red team they are plating up in the ladies loo. He really does likes blue team best.
Gordon tells Brendan he needs to remove the big chunk of fat from the pork belly and how he should plate it up. Brendan tells this to Sashi and Khanh.
Blue team are really IN THE SHIT in this shit show. They’ve not got the entrée ready and Gina decides to change it up and they’re now making spaghetti with prawns and chilli. They all start power hustling to get it ready.
Gordon tests blue teams fish dish and reveals that salmon skin can double as a prophylactic if needed. He also says in 30 years of service he has never experienced this. I am not sure what this is, but if this is poorly cooked restaurant food that he needs to improve he clearly has forgotten about hit noughties television show Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares.
Jo tells the camera that blue team are dedicated to winning today. She sounds unconvinced, because they have around 10 minutes to create an entrée.
Reece gives Gordon a sample of his dessert and it is delicious. Gordon is a big fan of Reece and gives him lots of help and is kind and supportive without being overbearing and condescending.
Aldo serves up his sample dessert and the panna cotta isn’t set. He plonks it on the plate and Gordon asks him where the garnish is. Aldo shrugs and points vaguely to a place he describes as ‘over there’ and Gordon isn’t happy, he throws the panna cotta cup on the ground, or possibly a bin out of shot and swears.
Guests arrive at the shit show.
GET A GRIP, WE ARE OPEN!
Blue team’s spaghetti is a disaster.
Gordon is yelling at Brendan
Gary says you can feel the tension in the room, the walls are buckling.
JESUS CHRIST, SHIT!
Mayhem in the kitchen doesn’t always mean mayhem on the plate.
Red Team’s Dumplings
Uplifting music plays and they love it. It’s chunky and meaty.
Blue Team’s Panic Prawn Spaghetti Shit Show
The pasta is good, but there are diners still waiting. The prawn is cooked well.
They commend Gina for plugging the sinking ship with pasta.
Red team are prepping main course and Brendan forgot to cut the fat out and Gordon starts growling at him.
Blue team are prepping their Salmon. Kristen asks Chloe what they are plating up with the salmon and Chloe obviously has no idea and says ‘what do you think?’. Kristen realises this is her shit show now and starts directing people. She needs orange segments and fennel fronds STAT.
Blue team start cooking salmon and they finally plate some up. Gordon thumbs at them and they are raw. Gordon throws one on the floor. Who does Gordon expect to clean this up?
Red Team’s Pork
The pork is not broken down and it’s cooked too high and not for long enough. It’s a real let down for George.
Blue Team’s Salmon
It’s goldilocks salmon, George is papa bear and his is under cooked, Gary is mama bear and his is over cooked and Matt’s is baby bear and his is perfect. This is why baby bear is sitting on a cushion, so he can reach the table.
Reece starts prepping dessert and we spot Hoda for the first time this episode. Genene has not been sighted. Who is Samira again? Lisa who?
Red Teams Miso Apple Ice Cream
Uplifting music plays. They laugh that they want to order another one, but Gary says no because they would have to deal with Gordon to get it and he doesn’t want to get fired again.
Red team have finished and start cheering and Jo from blue team throws them some serious shade. This shit show is still going for blue team, they’re still prepping dessert.
Blue teams pannacotta with figs
It has a great wobble. Uplifting music plays and they are happy with the dessert, the only dish that had a clear vision. The judges say this dessert isn’t as pretty, especially when it is competing against the red team’s dessert in a beauty pageant, but it was tastier.
George congratulates them on doing a service with Gordon Ramsey and asks if they are exhausted. The camera cuts to a shot of a broken looking Sarah and Jo, nodding.
Dumplings are dish of the day. Jenny made those.
Reece and Jess are the dessert dream team, they loved the apple miso dish.
The pork main course was underwhelming.
Their entrée went from zero to hero. Well done Gina.
The dessert was also delicious.
Their salmon was inconsistently cooked and that is not good enough and blue team are in tomorrow elimination.
Genene gets a line, she says “yes, we won”.
Reece says he’s had a great time with Gordon. Chloe probably can’t hear the name Gordon without curling into the foetal position and sobbing. Turns out Gordon week has been cut short a day and he is out of here. Later haters.
He mentions he has a surprise for them, I’m assuming it’s a Masterclass, that, spoiler alert, will be on tomorrow night.